Harvesting Rice
I can hear the pounding of the pole in the large mortar just as the sun rises, which would be about 5:30. My neighbor woman must remove the hulls from the rice while it is just the right humidity. Rice, along with maze is a staple here; they grow them both. Just down the dirt road that runs by our place is an enormous field partitioned off to various women for planting rice. The month of June, beginning the dry season, is harvest time. I can see women everyday walk past with enormous sacks of rice on their heads, maybe up to 30 or 40 kgs, many with babies on their backs. Sometimes my children offer to help them carry it to their homes or up the road to catch a chapa. If I am driving during this time of day I will offer to transport them, sometimes very old woman carrying too much on their heads. They are always grateful.
When they get it home they must take a portion and cook it then they spread it out on a capalana (the cloth they use for skirts and many other things) and let it dry in the sun before removing the hulls. As it is drying they must make sure the chickens don’t mess with it and in it.
The harvest was great this year. The rains had come at opportune times and the stocks were loaded. Unfortunately heavy rains also had come at an inopportune time during harvest causing the remaining stocks to lie down in the water and be lost.
Seasons and rhythm are keys to life here and rice is no exception. Watching them pound the hulls off is quite a site. Sometimes 2 women or children will have their poles going for a long time without hitting the other like hands on a drum. After the hulls are mostly off they toss it in a flat basket to let the hulls blow away or shake off the edge. This is another rhythm that takes talent; shaking and tossing just to the edge of the basket, not loosing a grain of rice but just the hulls.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Hornet's nest
I stuck my hand in a hornet’s nest this week but I saw the Lord use it and the bites don’t bother me much. I went at 5:00 AM with 2 very drunk policemen to arrest the man who had badly abused Joaninina. He was shocked and couldn’t even figure out why the police were looking for him. It was this crazy mama doing something to defend this rebellious little orphan. He had most likely given her AIDS and then when he found she was pregnant casted her aside. Then one of his friends raped her. She was 10 at the time.
After going through the long process of her telling the story with him in the chair beside her and having it hand written in the book and then typed on an old typewriter he was locked up.
His uncle came the next day from a city about 50 miles away to ask me what had happened. He was not angry, just respectful and after hearing the story a bit remorseful. I told him that in my country it is not right to do these things and I wasn’t sure if this was acceptable here. He said it wasn’t right what his 21 year old nephew had done; to take a little girl in as a wife and not take care of her. I could see he was ashamed of the boy that bore his own name. He asked me to meet him the next day at the police station where the boy was.
That night I met with some of my older boys who already knew what was happening because they had assisted me when I picked this man up. They suggested letting the family deal with him which I had already considered because of this uncle. The next morning I met Joseph at the station and that’s where the hornet’s nest was. The boy’s boss was there along with some other family members. The boss was a white Portuguese man with obvious animosity toward us. I told him that my intention was to stop the process and trust his family to deal with him. He calmed down as he saw my heart and later offered to help Joaninia in some way. I remembered in Proverbs, it was written, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” I saw it in action today.
The people there at the domestic dispute office are wonderful and they like me but I am sure I confused them a bit when I requested the process to be stopped. They were so kind to help me in everything. The man dealing with it called his superior. She was at the other office in the city so I had to go pick her up and after writing a letter requesting the process to be stopped I drove her back. She was a lovely lady.
After all was said and done I drove the uncle back with us to Manga and dropped him off where he was staying. He tells us he will see us at our church on Sunday. I wondered if he would bring his nephew. Now, that would be strange wouldn’t it?
I suppose some people in my home country wouldn’t understand this compromise but here where children have little value it is unusual to bring this kind of thing to court. The community is something like a big family here and I was a bit afraid of the reaction of it. Women may secretly love me for doing what I did but most people will not understand.
Usually the process of things here takes a long time and frustrates me but this morning I was grateful that the documents I had done earlier this week had not been passed on to others that appoint a court date. The others involved I am sure were more grateful than I.
Matthew 5:25-26 says, “When you are on your way to court with your adversary settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison, and if that happens you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny. “
In this case the young man going to prison should have never gotten out for the sake of snuffing out the life a of a baby and little girl by giving her AIDS. Prisons here are not merciful; they are vicious. I hope that the shame he has brought to his family and boss will be enough to keep him from continuing to live like this.
As for Joaninia, she is learning to become a little girl here. I am watching her blossom and have great joy in helping others. I bumble my way through many things here but I trust the Lord is helping me to do the right things. Defending her was the right thing to do, for her sake. I saw a vision of a great hand plunging into a heap of stinky garbage and come out with a diamond. This is my Joaninia, she is a precious diamond. She is beginning to live now.
After going through the long process of her telling the story with him in the chair beside her and having it hand written in the book and then typed on an old typewriter he was locked up.
His uncle came the next day from a city about 50 miles away to ask me what had happened. He was not angry, just respectful and after hearing the story a bit remorseful. I told him that in my country it is not right to do these things and I wasn’t sure if this was acceptable here. He said it wasn’t right what his 21 year old nephew had done; to take a little girl in as a wife and not take care of her. I could see he was ashamed of the boy that bore his own name. He asked me to meet him the next day at the police station where the boy was.
That night I met with some of my older boys who already knew what was happening because they had assisted me when I picked this man up. They suggested letting the family deal with him which I had already considered because of this uncle. The next morning I met Joseph at the station and that’s where the hornet’s nest was. The boy’s boss was there along with some other family members. The boss was a white Portuguese man with obvious animosity toward us. I told him that my intention was to stop the process and trust his family to deal with him. He calmed down as he saw my heart and later offered to help Joaninia in some way. I remembered in Proverbs, it was written, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” I saw it in action today.
The people there at the domestic dispute office are wonderful and they like me but I am sure I confused them a bit when I requested the process to be stopped. They were so kind to help me in everything. The man dealing with it called his superior. She was at the other office in the city so I had to go pick her up and after writing a letter requesting the process to be stopped I drove her back. She was a lovely lady.
After all was said and done I drove the uncle back with us to Manga and dropped him off where he was staying. He tells us he will see us at our church on Sunday. I wondered if he would bring his nephew. Now, that would be strange wouldn’t it?
I suppose some people in my home country wouldn’t understand this compromise but here where children have little value it is unusual to bring this kind of thing to court. The community is something like a big family here and I was a bit afraid of the reaction of it. Women may secretly love me for doing what I did but most people will not understand.
Usually the process of things here takes a long time and frustrates me but this morning I was grateful that the documents I had done earlier this week had not been passed on to others that appoint a court date. The others involved I am sure were more grateful than I.
Matthew 5:25-26 says, “When you are on your way to court with your adversary settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison, and if that happens you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny. “
In this case the young man going to prison should have never gotten out for the sake of snuffing out the life a of a baby and little girl by giving her AIDS. Prisons here are not merciful; they are vicious. I hope that the shame he has brought to his family and boss will be enough to keep him from continuing to live like this.
As for Joaninia, she is learning to become a little girl here. I am watching her blossom and have great joy in helping others. I bumble my way through many things here but I trust the Lord is helping me to do the right things. Defending her was the right thing to do, for her sake. I saw a vision of a great hand plunging into a heap of stinky garbage and come out with a diamond. This is my Joaninia, she is a precious diamond. She is beginning to live now.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Life at the Girls Home
I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. The girls were sharing their dreams and then it somehow went into how the village people respond to them being a bit special. They are called the Kedesh girls. Kedesh is the orphanage that is strictly boys just across the path from our place. I suppose it is ok for John to get credit for all my hard work as long as it is good credit. Really I can see so much of God’s protection and their feeling cared for by the boys of Kedesh as well as their own brothers at HoB.
Some men talk about how they would like to have one of my girls but they are always in a group and they are not able to talk with just one. One young man tried to get Julia to help him with his English lessons while Deonicio, who is very good with English was right there. He hounded the guy until he left Julia alone. Sometimes the men will do a hissing sound to get their attention. If our boys are around they either rebuke them or act like it is them that they are hissing at. They have some fun with it while our girls keep on walking.
The stories include men calling them and following them and what they hear them saying as well as those protecting them. Papa has actually marched out to rebuke those men at times. One time when he was walking from school with some of the girls a man grabbed an arm of one of the girls. After Papa was finished with him I would be surprised if he ever touched another girl. Most girls in Moz actually like attention from men. If my girls do they are hiding it very well. Some have actually come home in tears after being harassed. Usually, though there will be a Kedesh, or HoB boy there to defend them. What a blessing they are! Moz is not a place where girls are respected; they are usually taken advantage of at an early age. It is the way of life here.
While the girls are sharing Joaninia is hanging on my shoulder playing with my hair. I don’t know what was going through her head. She was not protected; she was taken advantage of at an early age. She refused to walk in the protection of the group. A little rebellion goes a long way here. Tomorrow I will take her to the AIDS clinic and get her connected with the program there. Before I do, though, I will go with the police to get the man who abused her and bring him to jail. This is something I had not planned to do because it’s too messy here to do such things but a couple of weeks ago this man was harassing her about having his baby and it dying. He considered her suffering a joke. I got angry. Should he be free to continue doing such things? I felt it was right to go after him and bring justice to the orphan.
I did what some people may consider foolish and others heroic this morning. I drove to the police station at 5:00 AM and picked up 2 very drunk policemen and sent one of my girls and one of my boys with them to get the man who had bragged in the open market near us about having made Joaninia pregnant and her baby dying. He didn’t brag, though, about giving her diseases; one of them being AIDS.
It was troubling to me but my boys said that I did the right thing. I returned to my bed and asked for something in the Bible to justify what I had done. The word “defend” came to mind and I found in Isaiah chapter 1 verse 17 and 23: Lear n to do good, seek justice, rebuke the oppressor, defend the fatherless, plead for the widow. Your princes are rebellious and companions of thieves; everyone loves bribes, and follows after rewards. They do not defend the fatherless, nor does the cause of the widow come before them.
I did the right thing.
Some men talk about how they would like to have one of my girls but they are always in a group and they are not able to talk with just one. One young man tried to get Julia to help him with his English lessons while Deonicio, who is very good with English was right there. He hounded the guy until he left Julia alone. Sometimes the men will do a hissing sound to get their attention. If our boys are around they either rebuke them or act like it is them that they are hissing at. They have some fun with it while our girls keep on walking.
The stories include men calling them and following them and what they hear them saying as well as those protecting them. Papa has actually marched out to rebuke those men at times. One time when he was walking from school with some of the girls a man grabbed an arm of one of the girls. After Papa was finished with him I would be surprised if he ever touched another girl. Most girls in Moz actually like attention from men. If my girls do they are hiding it very well. Some have actually come home in tears after being harassed. Usually, though there will be a Kedesh, or HoB boy there to defend them. What a blessing they are! Moz is not a place where girls are respected; they are usually taken advantage of at an early age. It is the way of life here.
While the girls are sharing Joaninia is hanging on my shoulder playing with my hair. I don’t know what was going through her head. She was not protected; she was taken advantage of at an early age. She refused to walk in the protection of the group. A little rebellion goes a long way here. Tomorrow I will take her to the AIDS clinic and get her connected with the program there. Before I do, though, I will go with the police to get the man who abused her and bring him to jail. This is something I had not planned to do because it’s too messy here to do such things but a couple of weeks ago this man was harassing her about having his baby and it dying. He considered her suffering a joke. I got angry. Should he be free to continue doing such things? I felt it was right to go after him and bring justice to the orphan.
I did what some people may consider foolish and others heroic this morning. I drove to the police station at 5:00 AM and picked up 2 very drunk policemen and sent one of my girls and one of my boys with them to get the man who had bragged in the open market near us about having made Joaninia pregnant and her baby dying. He didn’t brag, though, about giving her diseases; one of them being AIDS.
It was troubling to me but my boys said that I did the right thing. I returned to my bed and asked for something in the Bible to justify what I had done. The word “defend” came to mind and I found in Isaiah chapter 1 verse 17 and 23: Lear n to do good, seek justice, rebuke the oppressor, defend the fatherless, plead for the widow. Your princes are rebellious and companions of thieves; everyone loves bribes, and follows after rewards. They do not defend the fatherless, nor does the cause of the widow come before them.
I did the right thing.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Comming along with Joaninina
We had a cleansing time with the girls today. It started with a big ordeal around Joaninina. She stole some money from Papa and when she returned to the girls house, very grumpy, they had a few carefully chosen words to say, not straight forward cutting words, but subtle cutting words. Joaninina was very clever tough and knows well what they were doing. She packed her things and went to tell Papa she was leaving. That’s when I came home from Dauce’s soccer game. I began dealing with her and realized that it was not her but demons again. I decided to lock her up in my room again. She didn’t take to kindly to it and it took 4 big boys and girls to carry her there with her kicking and biting and saying horrible things that I was happy I couldn’t understand.
This can be quite exhausting but I believe the Lord has given me wisdom and with it grace to deal with it. You see, I have hope for this little girl because she is in God’s hands.
She stayed in my room standing stubbornly by the door while I did my dishes. Soon she got tired and sat on the floor. Then she asked me why one of the girls spoke cutting words to her. That’s when I gathered the other girls and began to deal with them while she was in my house.
I was able to give them some tools to deal with her and also impart my hope for her. She is a gift to us, exposing our hearts, allowing God to deal with our motives and teach us how to love our enemies. They were very receptive and our evening was amazing. Some of the girls played and danced with Joaninina and teased her without provoking. She was in heaven and so was I.
I am sure there is much more work to be done but today was a breakthrough day at the girls’ home.
This can be quite exhausting but I believe the Lord has given me wisdom and with it grace to deal with it. You see, I have hope for this little girl because she is in God’s hands.
She stayed in my room standing stubbornly by the door while I did my dishes. Soon she got tired and sat on the floor. Then she asked me why one of the girls spoke cutting words to her. That’s when I gathered the other girls and began to deal with them while she was in my house.
I was able to give them some tools to deal with her and also impart my hope for her. She is a gift to us, exposing our hearts, allowing God to deal with our motives and teach us how to love our enemies. They were very receptive and our evening was amazing. Some of the girls played and danced with Joaninina and teased her without provoking. She was in heaven and so was I.
I am sure there is much more work to be done but today was a breakthrough day at the girls’ home.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
June 24th 2009
It is only noon and I am exhausted. I am trying to rest but all my joints hurt.
This is how my last night and day has gone so far… I had some guests from Germany staying the night preparing to fly out of Beira today. Jonanina decided to allow the demons that have ruled her short life to create havoc among the girls as I ate with my guests. She pits the girls against each other telling lies. I heard yelling and came to investigate. Long story short she slept on my floor locked in my house last night. She tried to run but our guard caught her.
Early this morning I got a message from John, an American man running an orphanage across the road, that the Mozambican pastor who has faithfully worked with him for 15 years was killed along with his wife as he was in an intersection on his motorcycle. A Taxi van just ran through the light killing others on bikes also. It was devastating. He was also my friend. I went over right away to visit John, locking Joaninia in my house.
When I returned she seemed ok so I let her come out for morning prayer. After prayer Julia and I talked with her about what had happened the night before. She was still in it, talking about running away. I decided to bring her back to my house until she was reasonably sane. She began to fight, kicking and biting. I think that is some of the problem with my joints. I ended up hitting her and she settled down and allowed us to get her into the house. It was terrible. She stood stubbornly by the door. I went to visit Greg and pray with him. I also called all the girls to fast during lunch and pray for her. They all agreed.
When I came back to the house she was reading an illustrated Bible at the table. I just lay down on the bed and rested. Soon she turned to me with tears running down her chubby cheeks and said, “I’m sorry mom.” I got her something to eat and we talked about what Jesus did for her in giving up his life so she could live. She listened softly. I asked her if there was anyone else she would like to apologize to. She said the names of the 5 girls that she had offended the night before. I brought them into my house and she told them each she was sorry and they hugged. We prayed together and that was that… We had our Joaninia back. She made 2 mud dolls with babies on their backs and dressed them in fabric for the 2 German girls that were on their way to the airport; art therapy at work in a real raw way. Often she comes to me after a confrontation and asks for paper to draw on.
She is changing but sometimes she falls into the old ways. When she says she wants to run I ask her where she would go. She has no answer now. She must make it here. She must be a part of our family to survive.
Later this evening hanging out in the living room with the girls doing various things you would never know we had had such a morning. I played UNO with Celia, Joaninia and her little sister Enes, laughing and high fiving through wins and losses. Before bed we all bounced around hugging each other after prayer. I am not so exhausted now. I am blessed.
This is how my last night and day has gone so far… I had some guests from Germany staying the night preparing to fly out of Beira today. Jonanina decided to allow the demons that have ruled her short life to create havoc among the girls as I ate with my guests. She pits the girls against each other telling lies. I heard yelling and came to investigate. Long story short she slept on my floor locked in my house last night. She tried to run but our guard caught her.
Early this morning I got a message from John, an American man running an orphanage across the road, that the Mozambican pastor who has faithfully worked with him for 15 years was killed along with his wife as he was in an intersection on his motorcycle. A Taxi van just ran through the light killing others on bikes also. It was devastating. He was also my friend. I went over right away to visit John, locking Joaninia in my house.
When I returned she seemed ok so I let her come out for morning prayer. After prayer Julia and I talked with her about what had happened the night before. She was still in it, talking about running away. I decided to bring her back to my house until she was reasonably sane. She began to fight, kicking and biting. I think that is some of the problem with my joints. I ended up hitting her and she settled down and allowed us to get her into the house. It was terrible. She stood stubbornly by the door. I went to visit Greg and pray with him. I also called all the girls to fast during lunch and pray for her. They all agreed.
When I came back to the house she was reading an illustrated Bible at the table. I just lay down on the bed and rested. Soon she turned to me with tears running down her chubby cheeks and said, “I’m sorry mom.” I got her something to eat and we talked about what Jesus did for her in giving up his life so she could live. She listened softly. I asked her if there was anyone else she would like to apologize to. She said the names of the 5 girls that she had offended the night before. I brought them into my house and she told them each she was sorry and they hugged. We prayed together and that was that… We had our Joaninia back. She made 2 mud dolls with babies on their backs and dressed them in fabric for the 2 German girls that were on their way to the airport; art therapy at work in a real raw way. Often she comes to me after a confrontation and asks for paper to draw on.
She is changing but sometimes she falls into the old ways. When she says she wants to run I ask her where she would go. She has no answer now. She must make it here. She must be a part of our family to survive.
Later this evening hanging out in the living room with the girls doing various things you would never know we had had such a morning. I played UNO with Celia, Joaninia and her little sister Enes, laughing and high fiving through wins and losses. Before bed we all bounced around hugging each other after prayer. I am not so exhausted now. I am blessed.
AIDS and a Little Girl
Here at the local AIDS clinic I wait to enroll 11 year old Joninia into their program. I just saw the test result, positive. Uncontrollable tears flowed freely. Joninia’s eyes were wet with deep sorrow. She understood some but I don’t think all of the ramifications were grasped.
Joninia came to our home 2 years ago as stubborn and rebellious as a rock. She has demons and a times the win the battle for her soul. I loved her freely, hugging her was like hugging a tree.
We have lost count of the times she has run away. Everytime she runs she steals things from the other girls. It is tiring for them but every time she returns they welcome her with understanding and love. This last time she was gone a long time. We did not go after her as we had the other times hoping she would choose on her own to come home. She came, covered with scabies and bleeding after a miscarriage.
Both of her parents were witch doctors; evil people do not show proper affection to children. She had never been hugged or shown any kind of tenderness – only strife and cruelty.
I held her; I told her that I would take care of her. God has a plan for her.
She stands next to me singing praise to God. When I look at her she smiles at me. She has hope.
On the other side of me is a young woman, frail with AIDS, no shoes, supporting what little weight she has with a stick. She can not smile. There is no hope in her eyes. What has happened to the plan God had for her life?
The girls back home have seen and now it will hit them hard that the world outside our home is harsh. We had another girl named Dominga. She too, tested positive. She kept running away. She came to visit some times but stayed away. The last time we saw her she was very sick. We have not seen her for a long time now and I suspect that she is dead. She was a precious lamb. I am sure she is with the Great Shepherd.
Joninia came to our home 2 years ago as stubborn and rebellious as a rock. She has demons and a times the win the battle for her soul. I loved her freely, hugging her was like hugging a tree.
We have lost count of the times she has run away. Everytime she runs she steals things from the other girls. It is tiring for them but every time she returns they welcome her with understanding and love. This last time she was gone a long time. We did not go after her as we had the other times hoping she would choose on her own to come home. She came, covered with scabies and bleeding after a miscarriage.
Both of her parents were witch doctors; evil people do not show proper affection to children. She had never been hugged or shown any kind of tenderness – only strife and cruelty.
I held her; I told her that I would take care of her. God has a plan for her.
She stands next to me singing praise to God. When I look at her she smiles at me. She has hope.
On the other side of me is a young woman, frail with AIDS, no shoes, supporting what little weight she has with a stick. She can not smile. There is no hope in her eyes. What has happened to the plan God had for her life?
The girls back home have seen and now it will hit them hard that the world outside our home is harsh. We had another girl named Dominga. She too, tested positive. She kept running away. She came to visit some times but stayed away. The last time we saw her she was very sick. We have not seen her for a long time now and I suspect that she is dead. She was a precious lamb. I am sure she is with the Great Shepherd.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Nuns of orphans?
Sometimes I get accused of running a catholic nunnery here. I would like to defend myself a bit if I may…
Many of my girls have suffered sexual abuse here. One of my girls has suffered many rapes from many men resulting in a pregnancy and an HIV positive test; she is 11. Dealing with such things, yes I tend to be a bit overprotective at times. I don’t think the girls mind. In fact, I told the older girls one time what the men who wanted them for wives would have to go through to put a ring on their finger. We laughed when mama explained the gamut they would have to come through, first thing being an AIDS test. When I finished I mentioned that maybe they would never get married and they all said in unsent, “That’s ok mama!”
I am not a man hater. I have some wonderful sons from birth and some wonderful sons here in Moz. I work side by side with wonderful men here and I don’t think they would call me a man hater. I am teaching the children I have here to look at the opposite sex with caution and respect, to see them as brothers and sisters. They are learning a different kind of love here, God’s love. His love is pure and simple and full of peaceable joy, not joy with guilt. The words, “I love you” take on a whole other meaning, one that reaches deep into your soul. I pray for them that when they do marry that it is God’s love that stirs their hearts, not just petty lust. It is God’s love that will keep them through all the temptations and trials here.
Many of my girls have suffered sexual abuse here. One of my girls has suffered many rapes from many men resulting in a pregnancy and an HIV positive test; she is 11. Dealing with such things, yes I tend to be a bit overprotective at times. I don’t think the girls mind. In fact, I told the older girls one time what the men who wanted them for wives would have to go through to put a ring on their finger. We laughed when mama explained the gamut they would have to come through, first thing being an AIDS test. When I finished I mentioned that maybe they would never get married and they all said in unsent, “That’s ok mama!”
I am not a man hater. I have some wonderful sons from birth and some wonderful sons here in Moz. I work side by side with wonderful men here and I don’t think they would call me a man hater. I am teaching the children I have here to look at the opposite sex with caution and respect, to see them as brothers and sisters. They are learning a different kind of love here, God’s love. His love is pure and simple and full of peaceable joy, not joy with guilt. The words, “I love you” take on a whole other meaning, one that reaches deep into your soul. I pray for them that when they do marry that it is God’s love that stirs their hearts, not just petty lust. It is God’s love that will keep them through all the temptations and trials here.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Healing Along the Way
The healing journey
Some people are on a long treacherous journey losing arms, legs and sometimes having their hearts fall out along the way. Most keep going, some stop and mourn their losses, asking why. The ones that keep going are the ones that are able to help others as they heal. As they help others they lose sight of their own need for healing. Some say this is not healthy but I say it is. Jesus did it on his way to the cross. In His hour of need He washed the feet of His disciples.
If there is a focus that is helpful to others outside of ourselves it should be looked at diligently and run after. When we stop and lick our wounds we lose ground and sometimes just curl up and die there. God's ways are different than humans. We spend much time making sure our body is cared for. We focus on our childhood wounds until they become an obsession. Keep going, when we are on the journey of Life we must keep going. There is healing in the going. Jesus said, "Go and I will be with you." He didn't say stop and I will be with you. Keep going.
Some people are on a long treacherous journey losing arms, legs and sometimes having their hearts fall out along the way. Most keep going, some stop and mourn their losses, asking why. The ones that keep going are the ones that are able to help others as they heal. As they help others they lose sight of their own need for healing. Some say this is not healthy but I say it is. Jesus did it on his way to the cross. In His hour of need He washed the feet of His disciples.
If there is a focus that is helpful to others outside of ourselves it should be looked at diligently and run after. When we stop and lick our wounds we lose ground and sometimes just curl up and die there. God's ways are different than humans. We spend much time making sure our body is cared for. We focus on our childhood wounds until they become an obsession. Keep going, when we are on the journey of Life we must keep going. There is healing in the going. Jesus said, "Go and I will be with you." He didn't say stop and I will be with you. Keep going.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Comentary on "The Shack"
I have been reading bits and pieces of “The Shack” again. I have heard that there are some that have trouble with the way the author presented God and especially the triune God that is a foundation to the Christian faith. Personally it has clarified some things that have never made sense to me the way man has tried to explain them.
After reading the following excerpt from chapter 8, I am beginning to realize that the basis of the trinity is love. Love is the bond and unity is the explanation for the trinity. Because we humans base our relationships around authority and power we have no grid for this kind of relationship so we try to explain it like an egg or water as steam, liquid and ice. To whom can you compare God? What image can you find to resemble him? Isaiah 40:18 These are human ways of understanding something awesome. This is all we have. Can we just admit that there is a higher way? The way is simply love. The Beatles had it right and we missed it.
The following explains the great rift between God’s ways and human ways.
“…We have no concept of final authority among us, only unity. We are in a circle of relationship, not a chain of command or “great chain of being” as your ancestors termed it. What you’re seeing here is relationship without any overlay of power. We don’t need power over the other because we are always looking out for the best. Hierarchy would make no sense among us. Actually, this is your problem not ours.
Really, how so?
Humans are so lost and damaged that to you it is almost incomprehensible that people could work or live together without someone being in charge…If you had truly learned to regard each other’s concerns as significant as your own there would be no need for hierarchy.”
Is this what Jesus is trying to get across to us in chapter 17 of John’s gospel?
I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one just as You and I are one – as you are in me Father and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe that you sent me.
These thoughts are rocking my little religious world and I love it! It is a paradigm shift. God is always bigger than me and that is comforting. His thoughts are nothing like my thoughts and his ways are far beyond anything I could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth so are His ways higher than mine and his thoughts higher than mine. (And remember we still don’t know how high the heavens are from the earth.) Isaiah 55:8-9
Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord? Who knows enough to give Him advice or teach Him? Isaiah 40:13
We have reduced the creator to our way of thinking rather than humbling ourselves and admitting that our ways are shallow and our thoughts are limited.
God is love 1st John 3:16 God has power but He is Love.
After reading the following excerpt from chapter 8, I am beginning to realize that the basis of the trinity is love. Love is the bond and unity is the explanation for the trinity. Because we humans base our relationships around authority and power we have no grid for this kind of relationship so we try to explain it like an egg or water as steam, liquid and ice. To whom can you compare God? What image can you find to resemble him? Isaiah 40:18 These are human ways of understanding something awesome. This is all we have. Can we just admit that there is a higher way? The way is simply love. The Beatles had it right and we missed it.
The following explains the great rift between God’s ways and human ways.
“…We have no concept of final authority among us, only unity. We are in a circle of relationship, not a chain of command or “great chain of being” as your ancestors termed it. What you’re seeing here is relationship without any overlay of power. We don’t need power over the other because we are always looking out for the best. Hierarchy would make no sense among us. Actually, this is your problem not ours.
Really, how so?
Humans are so lost and damaged that to you it is almost incomprehensible that people could work or live together without someone being in charge…If you had truly learned to regard each other’s concerns as significant as your own there would be no need for hierarchy.”
Is this what Jesus is trying to get across to us in chapter 17 of John’s gospel?
I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one just as You and I are one – as you are in me Father and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe that you sent me.
These thoughts are rocking my little religious world and I love it! It is a paradigm shift. God is always bigger than me and that is comforting. His thoughts are nothing like my thoughts and his ways are far beyond anything I could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth so are His ways higher than mine and his thoughts higher than mine. (And remember we still don’t know how high the heavens are from the earth.) Isaiah 55:8-9
Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord? Who knows enough to give Him advice or teach Him? Isaiah 40:13
We have reduced the creator to our way of thinking rather than humbling ourselves and admitting that our ways are shallow and our thoughts are limited.
God is love 1st John 3:16 God has power but He is Love.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Bakery
Making chocolate chip cookies today I began to realize that most people in this world have never had one, even oreos, Wow! what kind of deal is that?
I also began to think about how many people who eat chocolate chip cookies have never had mud on their floors or should I just say mud floors, or for that matter mud walls.
Even though these people are so different I find that the ones who have never had a chocolate chip cookie really don't care because they don't know what they are missing. They seem quite content without them.
I, however am planning to change that a little in my own neighborhood of mud floors and walls. My landlord used to run a bakery. He came to me last year with a proposal for a bakery in his yard, which is just in back of the girls house. 1,200 USD is all he needed. He is now in the building stage of it and we are working out some deals that he would help us with. He will help some of the children in HoB to learn business and some can work for him.
I taught some of my girls to bake bread last year and they make it twice a week for breakfast for both houses. They love it and it always turns out great.
I hope to introduce some sellable items for the community. I'm not sure still about chocolate chip cookies because I can't get the chips in Moz but there are many other things that will be fun to do.
The first time I met Heidi Baker before I went to Moz I told her I wanted to make a bakery to feed the orphans. She was excited about that. Funny how things come around. They kind of sneek up on you. My intentions were good I guess.
Somewhere in Proverbs is says Man makes his plans but God orders his steps.
I also began to think about how many people who eat chocolate chip cookies have never had mud on their floors or should I just say mud floors, or for that matter mud walls.
Even though these people are so different I find that the ones who have never had a chocolate chip cookie really don't care because they don't know what they are missing. They seem quite content without them.
I, however am planning to change that a little in my own neighborhood of mud floors and walls. My landlord used to run a bakery. He came to me last year with a proposal for a bakery in his yard, which is just in back of the girls house. 1,200 USD is all he needed. He is now in the building stage of it and we are working out some deals that he would help us with. He will help some of the children in HoB to learn business and some can work for him.
I taught some of my girls to bake bread last year and they make it twice a week for breakfast for both houses. They love it and it always turns out great.
I hope to introduce some sellable items for the community. I'm not sure still about chocolate chip cookies because I can't get the chips in Moz but there are many other things that will be fun to do.
The first time I met Heidi Baker before I went to Moz I told her I wanted to make a bakery to feed the orphans. She was excited about that. Funny how things come around. They kind of sneek up on you. My intentions were good I guess.
Somewhere in Proverbs is says Man makes his plans but God orders his steps.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Dealing with grief
Sept 28, 2008
I thought I was being very clever teaching the children about who Jesus is and what he did on the cross according to Isaiah 53 at HoB church last night…
He took our griefs and sorrows…
In that room there is a deep well of griefs and an ocean of sorrow, much of it is mine but as I looked around I realized the children’s.
Teresa’s baby brother died on her back as she was trying to care for him after her mother’s death when she was just eight.
Julia had cared for a baby at another orphanage that died in her arms.
Mangueze had just cried with me that day as he once again expressed his grief over the loss of his beloved little brother earlier this year.
Dauce lost his father just a few months ago and then there was his mother, the widow along with the younger siblings there in the room.
These are just a few.
Because I know each story I know that not one has been untouched by terrible grief and deep sorrow. The kind of grief they have had in their lives should by all means have debilitated them but it hasn’t. I watch them play and sing joyfully. I see them learn, love and serve freely, enjoying this life.
They are teaching me Isaiah 53; they are living it out before me.
Oct 4, 2008
I think I am beginning to understand Job.
We all have a shallow level and a deep part. Job was experiencing God and life in his shallow parts until suffering came. Then he fell head-long into the deep well of grief. Before he realized how deep the well was he boldly spoke, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
And again, “Shall we indeed accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity?”
These words were spoken in Job’s shallow parts.
I too spoke boldly after my youngest son, Ezra’s death grasping desperately for comfort and understanding. Then I fell head-long into the well of grief, into my deep parts. Sometimes these days my words are like Job’s, “I long for the years gone by when God took care of me, when He lit up the way before me and I walked safely through the darkness (in that shallow place), when I was in my prime. God’s friendship was felt in my home. The Almighty was still with me and my children were around me. All who heard me praised me, all who saw me spoke well of me, for I assisted the poor in their need and the orphans who required help. I helped those without hope and they blessed me. And I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.”
Job 29:1-5,11
Finding God in my deep parts, grief being a companion is difficult a times but I know He is there because He is always there, He is faithful and He knows grief personally. It is Him that makes me know that I will see Ezra again just like He saw His own son again.
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