June 24th 2009

It is only noon and I am exhausted. I am trying to rest but all my joints hurt.
This is how my last night and day has gone so far… I had some guests from Germany staying the night preparing to fly out of Beira today. Jonanina decided to allow the demons that have ruled her short life to create havoc among the girls as I ate with my guests. She pits the girls against each other telling lies. I heard yelling and came to investigate. Long story short she slept on my floor locked in my house last night. She tried to run but our guard caught her.
Early this morning I got a message from John, an American man running an orphanage across the road, that the Mozambican pastor who has faithfully worked with him for 15 years was killed along with his wife as he was in an intersection on his motorcycle. A Taxi van just ran through the light killing others on bikes also. It was devastating. He was also my friend. I went over right away to visit John, locking Joaninia in my house.
When I returned she seemed ok so I let her come out for morning prayer. After prayer Julia and I talked with her about what had happened the night before. She was still in it, talking about running away. I decided to bring her back to my house until she was reasonably sane. She began to fight, kicking and biting. I think that is some of the problem with my joints. I ended up hitting her and she settled down and allowed us to get her into the house. It was terrible. She stood stubbornly by the door. I went to visit Greg and pray with him. I also called all the girls to fast during lunch and pray for her. They all agreed.
When I came back to the house she was reading an illustrated Bible at the table. I just lay down on the bed and rested. Soon she turned to me with tears running down her chubby cheeks and said, “I’m sorry mom.” I got her something to eat and we talked about what Jesus did for her in giving up his life so she could live. She listened softly. I asked her if there was anyone else she would like to apologize to. She said the names of the 5 girls that she had offended the night before. I brought them into my house and she told them each she was sorry and they hugged. We prayed together and that was that… We had our Joaninia back. She made 2 mud dolls with babies on their backs and dressed them in fabric for the 2 German girls that were on their way to the airport; art therapy at work in a real raw way. Often she comes to me after a confrontation and asks for paper to draw on.
She is changing but sometimes she falls into the old ways. When she says she wants to run I ask her where she would go. She has no answer now. She must make it here. She must be a part of our family to survive.
Later this evening hanging out in the living room with the girls doing various things you would never know we had had such a morning. I played UNO with Celia, Joaninia and her little sister Enes, laughing and high fiving through wins and losses. Before bed we all bounced around hugging each other after prayer. I am not so exhausted now. I am blessed.