Living among the poor

July 2010
The other night I spent some time with the big boys discussing self-centeredness and the difference between being needy and “wanty”. The next morning a 19 year old boy came for some help. He had left his 2 little sisters crying for hunger. They had eaten a small bit of rice the day before and had nothing to eat this day. He was desperate and very humbled to have to ask us for food. He shared his story. His father worked for the government and was paid well. He died a couple of years ago. The government covered the cost of the funeral and left a little for the widow but that went fast so she had to sell their land to survive. Last year she died leaving nothing for her children. Social Services will do nothing for them. They were living in a small house, one room. This boy had been trying to build another room so that they weren’t all sleeping together. He was also out looking for work.

I brought all the older boys around him and introduced them. We discussed what they could do to help them. They had some leftover bread from breakfast and we put together other things we had available. They put it in a wheel barrow and escorted him home.

The next day the little ones and I made doughnuts and had plenty left over to share with the orphanage next door and then some. Some of the girls decided to share with a couple of widows in the area so we added some maze and they went off.
They came back with this story…
One of the widows had 3 children. She had been sick for 2 months and was too thin. She was cooking some cabbage and greens that she had gathered. Her little boy was eating sand. She didn’t have clothes but was wrapped in a capalana (a piece of cloth used for a skirt and many other things). Her house was made of sticks with plastic on the roof and capalanas for the walls. When they went inside they were so sad to find no mat and just a little rag for a blanket. It is so cold here now that I sleep under 2 blankets. We got a little care package together for her, a blanket and some food. We will bring her to the clinic and see what meds she needs. When I mentioned this story to Mangueze he lit up and responded, “We can fix her house Saturday.” Mariza told me that when she walks by her place on the way to school this lady always greets her warmly. She told me that she is a thankful person.

In June the children built a house from bottom to top for a widower whose house fell down in the area; boys and girls together doing simple construction. We used some of the material from his old house and some things not being used around our house. Mangueze took his old house apart and used the material from that also. It was so good for them to be able to give. They all had a lot of fun helping, even the little ones got involved.

I can’t get directly involved with the widows here. If I visit their homes it’s just an invitation for banditos. They think I may have left something of value there. Z (the young lady who stayed with us for 9 months) developed a relationship with a couple of the widowers as well as widows. One was in his 80’s, a rare sight, precious. She left her mattress for him. He suggested us sneak it to his daughter’s place and then he could get it to his place after dark so no one would see. He had never in his life slept on a mattress. It was fun to ask him how he slept.

I have a dear friend who just started an organization for widows. The Lord has been directing her and connecting her with the right people to help here and I am one of them. I have direct contact with widows and I don’t have to go looking for them. The children are a great help with this and it’s very good for their character to give. So it is good for all.

We have had 2 widows become a part of our family in the past couple of months. The first one to come, Maria, was so destitute; rarely had I seen someone so hopeless. She couldn’t pay her rent and wanted to do some work. I put her in the garden and she was better than a tiller. We now have a huge garden full of growing things. The boys are responsible to care their own plots. It was wonderful to watch hope grow in this precious widow as well. Sometimes she brings her blind mother to help by caring for her baby while she works. They are all very grateful.

The next one to come, Vinny, had been kicked out of her house for not paying rent. She came with her 5 little boys and just a capalana full of their possessions. The landlord locked her belongings up to get some pay from her. She basically had nothing. We put her up temporarily and she was a real blessing to the boys, cooking and cleaning. Social Service has agreed to do something to help her but that could take a long time so we used some money from my friend’s organization to rent another house and get some needed household items. She still comes sometimes to visit and help.

It doesn’t take much money to help a widow here. Their rent is usually between 5 and 10 USD a month. To fix up a house can cost from 10 to 20 USD. Their diets are simple and they don’t need much to be satisfied or even happy. They also are hard workers so finding them something to do is very helpful.

Flora and Dominga got stranded in Dondo the other night and had to sleep with a poor family that they were visiting for the day. I asked Flora how she slept, knowing it wasn’t quite as nice as her own bed. I was laughing as she told me about it, really, I should have been crying. There were no blankets. She slept on a rice sack. At night the bugs come up from the ground and feast on those sleeping. At first she thought they were mosquitoes. When she realized what they were it was about 4AM and she got up and just stood around shivering in her capalana until she and Dominga could get going. She was so grateful to be home that she made dinner and popcorn for us. Sometimes they forget how it used to be for them before they came to my place and it is good for them to experience it now and then. Most people live like this and accept it because they have nothing else to compare it with.